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THE ARTENDER

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2020
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The Styx Chyx and The Art of Dying

A few weeks ago, before the Black-Mirror-Jjumanji-Mad-Max-12-Monkeys movie that is our actual fucking lives right now took another expected turn for the worse, my friends @TheStyxChyx asked me to submit a piece to their virtual art exhibition, featuring works by a diverse group of talented artists in a 3D virtual gallery setting. What to submit I wondered 🤔… As it so often does, my mind drifted right to Shakespeare, or more specifically to Hamlet, where there is buried one of Billy’s characters who I might relate to the most. “Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him well. A fellow of infinite jest, of
2020
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Perspective

Webster’s Dictionary defines Perspective as a “mental view or prospect; a point of view; what Willis was talking about”. It’s as much the way we see the world, as it is the way everyone else does. We all tell ourselves that we typically try to see things from other people’s perspectives. This is usually true when the world around us is going hunky fucking dory. But when hunky turns to total and dory turns to shit, perspectives can change faster than a meth’d out Nascar pit-crew. Getting cut off by someone who’s late for work can change dear sweet old
2020
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Quarantine Time

Day 21 of the lockdown aka worst Escape Room ever … I just finished working out in the living room – quickly approaching 1000 burpees iiiit’s not a big deal – was taking a shower and started empathizing with fucking Ariel from The Little Mermaid… I hear already gillfriend. I also wanna be up where they walk, where they run, where they stay all day in the sun, wanderin ‘free, wish I could be, part of that world. Maybe I’m losing it a bit but all I know is I would fer sure S Ursula’s D if it got me the F
2020
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ASTRO AND FLATEARTH

The world is not fucking flat. A rant. Look, I get it… Life is hard. The world is a scary place. It’s big and confusing and for some of our unluckier contestants it can feel like trying to finish an escape room while blindfolded and tripping balls off two tabs of acid… It’s dark, it’s not gonna go well, and why the hell is this combination lock flirting with me he asked before melting into the floor. From paintings of mammoths on cave walls to talking snakes in trees, from secret societies to ghosts and UFOs, from bloodletting to whatever
2020
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THIS SHIT IS BANANAS.

In November of last year, Italian artist Maurizio Cattelan accomplished a feat rarely achieved by any modern artist other than maybe Banksy – or Kanye off his meds – when at the prestigious #ArtBasel show in Miami Beach, he attached a banana to a wall with duct tape, submitting his first show-cased piece in almost 15 years. Not since Marcel Duchamp’s iconic 1917 piece “The Fountain”, or Kendall Jenner’s unquestionably avant-garde 2017 “Live for Now” Pepsi commercial, has the public seen work of such disruptive, conceptual enormity or thought-provoking complexity than it did with this fucking banana on a wall. I’m just
2019
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COLOR IN CONTRAST

MAD MEN: COLOR IN CONTRAST OR God damn it Peggy, the colors in this ad are all wrong! Now get out of here and re… What are you crying? Stop crying. You should be thanking me. There are a thousand girls in this city, all prettier than you, who would kill for this job. Now get out of my office and fix these mock-ups before the client gets here! *door slams. Don picks up the phone. Mrs. Blankenship? Hold my calls, I’m taking a nap. So, I’ve recently re-watched all seven seasons of AMC’s historical fiction, period dramedy, 92-episode, surgeon
2019
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Starry Night

I call this piece, “Hey bro… I think your big dumb face just shot across the room and then all this weird colorful smoke came out of your head. Are you ok or whatever bro?” Either that or Starry Night. Not sure yet. ••••••••••• Also, thank you all for the birthday love. I love y’all back. Hella G’s and many T’s the next time I see you. Now get outa here before I start leakin again. #noYOUREcrying ••••••••••• #photoshopvikings #launchdsigns #digitalmanipulation #photoshopmanipulation #imagemanipulation #creativegrammer #manipulationteam #photoshopart #editgrams #discoveredit #creartmood #manipulationclan #artofvisuals #edit_grams #createcommune #thecreativers #manipulation #surrealism #digitalmanipulation #photoshop_art #adobephotoshop #imagemanipulatio