The world is not fucking flat. A rant.
Look, I get it… Life is hard. The world is a scary place. It’s big and confusing and for some of our unluckier contestants it can feel like trying to finish an escape room while blindfolded and tripping balls off two tabs of acid… It’s dark, it’s not gonna go well, and why the hell is this combination lock flirting with me he asked before melting into the floor.
From paintings of mammoths on cave walls to talking snakes in trees, from secret societies to ghosts and UFOs, from bloodletting to whatever the fuck Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop is, human beings have, from time immemorial, manufactured belief systems in order to “control” as much of the world around them as the world around them would allow itself to be controlled.
So regrettably, enter the Flatearth Model. The latest one of these belief systems, cooked up using one-part unremarkable incel, one-part YouTube chatroom and two-parts social protection of literally fucking anything these days, all mixed together with enough entitlement to make an Instagram influencer #blush. Flatearthers are not endearing, they are not cute, they should not be respected or admired for their beliefs. They are individuals who have watched career climate scientists, physicists, astronauts and engineers work their entire lives to make the world a better place and then have disregarded all of that because @HelloKittyZeitgeist2001 on YouTube told them to.
Disagree? No problem, DM me. I’m in Spain… Your message will be sent from wherever you are to a satellite in space, orbiting the globe, where it will be sent back down and across thousands of miles at the speed of light to me. I will respond back to you in 5 to 7 business days.